Do All Men Have a Sexual Secret?
Tuesday, September 30, 2008 22:33Get ready for a pretty surprising statistic. Therapists report that about 90 percent of men have a secret desire they’ve never shared with their wives or significant others. The New York Times reported in a headline that “Much Is Found Perverse.”53 We’ll get to that subject later, but for the moment let’s talk about the most common male fantasy secrets.
What kind of secrets do men harbor? Nothing outrageous, nothing shocking. But something that they fear their mothers would tell them they’re dirty for thinking—like the six most prevalent secret male fantasies listed earlier in this book.
Incidentally, the What Turns You On technique is a splendid method for finding out if you two are going to be sexually compatible in the long run. Some men have sexual habits and proclivities that are a nice place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live with them.
Suppose you’re sitting across the restaurant table with the reflection of candlelight in the beautiful wineglass flickering off your expectant, smiling face. You’ve asked your Quarry, “What turns you on?” He starts telling you some bizarre activity you could never accept. What should you do? Scream? Grab your bag and run? Say, “Ugh, that’s disgusting!” or “What a sicko you are!”?
No. Listen anyway. React as though what he’s saying is exciting. Run to the ladies’ room and gag later if it’s something you find really distasteful, but now is not the time to show your disgust. You’ve led your Quarry this far down the garden path, and it’s not fair to kick sand in his face.
Incidentally, you must never share your man’s secret with anyone else, not even your best friend. You have tricked him into telling you, and now you must play fair. Chances are your Quarry’s secret will be something very ordinary, but if you want him to fall in love with you, it’s up to you to make him think you find his very ordinary desires extraordinarily exciting.
Ask Knock-His-Socks-Off Details Questions
Now is the time to pretend you’re in Political Science Filibuster class. This is your final exam on how long you can keep a monologue (his) going. Ask your Quarry every conceivable question about his fantasy. At first he may be taken a little aback by your friendly interrogation. Within moments, I promise you, he’ll get into the swing of things and be thrilled with your line of questioning.
The number one most rampant secret male fantasy is wanting to be in bed with two women, or watching two women make love to each other. Let’s say you’ve just used the What Turns You On and Hot Purr Response techniques with your Quarry. Fantasizing two women together was his big confession.
You: “Hmmm. [You purr.] That’s exciting. What do the two women look like?” He answers.
You: “Really? [You get a twinkle in your eye.] Ooh. Do they have any clothes on?” He answers.
You: “Wow. [Flash him a cute, mischievous, naughty smile.] Is one of them seducing the other, or are they both into it?” He answers.
You: “Umm, I like that. [Sincere curiosity.] Is this the first time they’ve ever made it with another woman?” He answers.
You: “Do they have names in your fantasy.” If they do, start using their names.
You: “Umm. [Lick your lips.] Where do Barb and Di kiss each other?” He answers.
You: “Ooh! [You're really into it now.] Are Barb and Di lesbians, or did they just find each other irresistible?”
And so it goes, and so your Quarry’s excitement grows. By now, if you’re having this conversation over dinner, the table could start levitating due to his growing erection. All right, Huntresses, I exaggerate, but keep the questions coming and you will enjoy the new way your Quarry looks at you. No matter how exciting he thought you were before, you are now becoming much more thrilling to him.
Don’t take it personally and feel neglected because your Quarry is talking about Barb and Di, or whoever is in his fantasy, instead of you. Believe me, his appreciation of your open-minded attitude will soon turn his thoughts to you.


