Penis Enlargement

Table 40: Table of Magic Items

Item	X.P.
Boo-Hag Goggles	100
Breast Plate +1	600
Earring(s) of Androgyny	250
Everful Baby Bottle	200
Figurine Of The Willing WonTon	400
Frictionless Sheets	250
Gem of the Vo Yure	250
Girdle of Speedy Gestation	500
Girdle of Hippolyte	1500
Hourglass of Parietals	500
Jackknife of Circumcision	2000
Ladies’ Glass Ball	2000
Lipsticks Of The Houri
Sleeping	1000
Wounding	1000
Weakness	2000
Slavery	3000
Nereid	8000
Death	9000
Morgaine’s Chainmail Bikini	1000
Penis of Astounding	1500
Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy	500
Periapt Of Sexual Aides	1000
Perfume/Musk Of Attraction	500
Philter of Love	250
Phylactery of Prophylactics	250
Potion of Aphrodisia	250
Potion of Potency	250
Rahasia’s Whirlpool Tub Of Love	500
Ring Of The Bulls	300
Ring Of Perversion	—
Ring Of Protection	1500
Ring of Sexuality Detection	300
Sheet Of Useful Toys	300
Spectacles of Revealing	250
Sword Of Castration	2000
Teeny-Weeny Bikini	1000
Underwear Of Virginity	200
Wand Of Love	2000
Wand of Pillows	1000
Wand Of Vibration	1000

Boo-Hag Goggles
These goggles make everyone look much more sexually attractive to the wearer than they really are.

Breast Plate +1
This piece of armor gives the wearer a +1 bonus to adjustment to armor class. Thus, a wearer with AC of 5 will have an AC of 4 when this breast plate is worn. This armor is made of a strange substance referred to by mages as Silicon.

Earring(s) of Androgyny
These earrings make it impossible for anyone to discern the gender of the wearer, even if naked.

Everful Baby Bottle
This baby bottle always contains milk. The milk is kept at a constant warm temperature. Most bottles produce cow’s milk, but some can produce milk from other mammals. Some exotic bottles were known to produce enriched dragon’s milk.

Figurine Of The Willing WonTon
This appears as a tiny (an inch or so high) statuette of a lovely male or female. When the figurine is tossed down and a command word spoken, it becomes a very attractive living normal sized person that will serve him/her. The person serves willingly and well, but at the end of 12 hours it returns to statue form. The figurine does not come with any gear or clothes. The mount can’t do anything but perform basic sexual acts.

Frictionless Sheets
These covers seem like any other silk sheets, but they have a nasty side. Three rounds after coming in contact with living material (i.e. a person) the sheets become completely frictionless. This could be very nasty if there is any strenuous activity occurring at the time. With the loss of friction there will be nothing to hold the person/s in the bed. Depending on the level of activity the person/s could simply slide out of bed or be shot out of bed at a high velocity. There are several applications for this magic item. But if found randomly by a character it could be fun for the DM to suddenly say to a character that while relaxing on his/her newly found sheets the character slides off and can not clime back into bed (HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH). The effect will wear off in 2-8 (2D4) rounds if no living material is in contact with it.

Gem of the Vo Yure
These finely cut and polished stones are indistinguishable from ordinary jewels, although a detect magic spell will reveal its enchantment. When gazed through, the Gem of the Vo Yure enables the user to see all human and kindred creatures as naked. The viewing range is 300’.

Girdle of Speedy Gestation
This girdle reduces the term of pregnancy and labor to 1/10th of normal, with no ill effects to bearer or baby.

Girdle of Hippolyte
This is really a thin metallic chain one wears around the waist. The wearer is completely immune to any diseases or ill effects gained through sexual intercourse (including the level-draining abilities of succubi/incubi).

Hourglass of Parietals
This typical hourglass compels sexual segregation. Males and females must move into separate rooms of any building containing such an hourglass once time has expired. This device is commonly used in certain lawful suspicious institutions of learning in the Realms.

Jackknife of Circumcision
A magical device used in the initiation rites of certain mythos, which functions as a Knife +2 in the hands of a circumcised male.

Ladies’ Glass Ball
A glass ball containing a green substance hangs from a pendant. The ball itself is plugged from the bottom with a plug of cork. The green substance inside, however, will show magical properties. If consumed by a female this green potion will protect her from impregnation for 1d4 months (DMs choice as to information given to PC). However, if consumed by a male the substance will instantaneously cause 1d4 points of damage. Then a save against poison must be made each hour for the duration of days equal to half the PC’s Constitution. If he fails he looses one hit point per failure The poison in a male will not kill him but causes him sever discomfort and embarrassment. He will begin to grow hair at an accelerated rate (1d4 inches/day) and his voice will become very feminine (no save).

Lipstick Of The Houri
This lipstick gives its wearer a limited kiss ability mimicking the spell of the same name. The effects last double the duration of the spell. Each stick is good for 5 applications and each application lasts for 1-6 kisses.

Morgaine’s Chainmail Bikini
As a fashion conscious adventurer, Morgaine has decided to create the ultimate in sexy adventure-wear, the “Chainmail Bikini”.
Provocatively designed to distract opponents, the “Chainmail Bikini” covers only the minimal basics in order to preserve modesty. Both the male and female versions are made of fine quality chain mail, carefully lined with the softest furs available, to ensure no nasty chain burns.
The “Chainmail Bikini” is magically enchanted to provide armour class protection affordable by anyone. The “base model” provides a straight Armor Class 10 and is merely for decorative/distraction purposes, providing basically no protection for the wearer. Other models provide an increasing amount of magical protection, with a corresponding increase in cost.
The special “Temperature-Controlled” models have an added feature which maintains body temperature in extreme cold or hot weather. The creature can stand unprotected in temperatures as low as -30 degrees Fahrenheit or as high as 130 degrees Fahrenheit with no ill effect. Temperatures beyond these limits inflict 1 point of damage per hour of exposure for every degree beyond the limit.
A special model, “Chainmail Chastity”, provides a miniature lock and key for those adventurers who are concerned about losing the friendship of their unicorn friends.
And for those dungeons where the DM forgot to put in a bathroom (or for female adventurers at _that_ time of the month) there is the “Port-a-Potty” model, which has a special liner that absorbs wastes for up to one week’s time. To clean, remove liner and place in a waste receptacle, intone the appropriate magical phrase, and the liner will “give up” its contents. Intone the other magical phrase to reset the liner for another week’s work. Warning: Be certain to reset the liner before the week is out, as the liner will automatically stop absorbing, and there is a 50% chance that the liner will automatically reset itself, leaving the adventurer with a lovely, warm feeling. Evil beings leave trapped versions by replacing the lining with a bag of devouring, for a bit more enjoyment.
A special smaller “Port-a-Potty” diaper model has been created for infants and has been very popular in large cities.

Penis of Astounding
This is a 12’ long artificial penis. It is used to stun an observer. When worn by a male, the Penis has a 70% chance of stunning a person for 1d10 rounds. However when worn by a woman, the odds increase to 95%. The penis is not subject to sexual arousal or feeling, thus it can be used in combat, when unsuccessful as a penis of astounding. Another version, the Ultra Penis of Astounding, also comes with a bag of milk.

Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy
This engraved gem appears to be a gem of small value. This periapt provides 100% protection against pregnancy for males and females.

Periapt Of Sexual Aides
This gem appears nothing else then a diamond (500-1000 gp), and no magic is detected. When in possession no effect is noted until the possessor engages in sex. Then, if a man is wearing the periapt, he cannot have a orgasm until his partner (which he is having sex with) has at least one orgasm. If worn by a woman, it makes herself more susceptible for orgasms (a roll of 1-2 on 1d10). In a sexual act, if more than one person are using this kind of periapt, they will explode for 3-12 (3d4) of blasting damage (10’ radius), and all possessors must check a system shock or lose the fertility.

Perfume/Musk Of Attraction
This liquid increases the wearer’s charisma by 1 point. The duration is 1d20 hours. The liquid comes in a small bottle with 2d20 applications.

Philter of Love
As in the DMG page 144, with the following revision: the philter will only inspire love for the next person the imbiber sees who is of the appropriate gender with respect to the imbiber’s sexual orientation.

Phylactery of Prophylactics
A phylactery with 1d6 detachable beads, each one of which functions as a Contraception spell (see guide).

Potion of Aphrodisia
Functions as Obsession spell (see guide) directed towards next person seen by the imbiber, regardless of the viewed person’s gender.

Potion of Potency
Functions as Prowess spell (see guide), for 6 hours.

Rahasia’s Whirlpool Tub Of Love
Legend states that this enchanted whirlpool tub was created by Rahasia, Mage Priestess of Ishtar, The Priestess of Love. Whirlpools like this do appear in all Ishtar temples and the best appears at Rashasia’s. Now, tubs appear all over Oerth and the Realms mainly as an item of the rich and famous. The tub is approximately 5 feet by 5 feet by 5 feet with side seats in it. The tub can create air bubbles at the bottom that flow delightfully to the top. Also, the temperature of the water can be controlled. Command words are as followed:

Table 41: Commands for Whirlpool Tub of Love

Temperature	Command	Bubbles	Command
Cold	Frigus	Low	Humilis
Warm	Calidus	Medium	Modus
Hot	Fervidus	High	Alte

Some clever clerics and mages have created gems that cause the same effects as the whirlpool tub when they are placed in a small body of water.

Ring of the Bulls

This regular ring is engraved with a bull head. When worn by a male, his more-private anatomy increases in size. The size is dependant on the type of the ring (Roll 1d12):

Table 42: Ring of the Bulls Types

Die Roll	Ring Type	Effect
1-5	Calf	Add 1/3 of the size
6-9	Young	Add 1/2 of the size
10-11	Bull	Double the size
12	THE BEAST	Triple the size (dangerous)

The male also gains a +1 to constitution checks during sex.

Ring of Perversion
Cursed ring that can only be removed by a remove curse spell. While the ring is worn, the person suffers the effects of a sexual insanity (roll on the insanity table).

Ring of Protection
This large ring is for males only and doesn’t go on fingers or toes. It provides 100% protection from pregnancy and sexual diseases (both magical and natural).

Ring of Sexuality Detection
A very simple ring with a white, semiprecious stone set in the side, which functions as per the Divine Sexual Orientation spell (see guide), with the following restrictions. Anyone whose orientation is scried makes a Wisdom check at -2. If the check is made, then the scried individuals will sense that they are the subject of some scrutiny. A successful Charisma check following that successful Wisdom check will alert them to the purpose but not – necessarily the source – of the scrutiny.

Sheet of Useful Toys
This appears to a normal sheet adorned with about 20 small cloth patches of various shapes. Anybody can remove a patch. Detaching a patch causes it to become an actual item. The item is some exciting sexual toy. The toy could be anything like oil, a whip, blindfold, body lotion, body paint, or anything else the DM images.

Spectacles of Revealing
While wearing these, the wearer sees everyone as though they were absolutely naked.

Sword of Castration
This weapon has a +2 bonus to hit and damage. The real power of the sword is when the attacker rolls a non-adjusted 20 on the attack roll. When this occurs, the victim (if male, ignore if female) will lose his most treasured body part. Legend has it that this sword was created by evil (and bitter) Amazon Warriors.

Teeny-Weeny Bikini
This object, when worn, will shrink upon command revealing more and more of the wearer’s body thus distracting any and all male counterparts. If the saving throw versus magic is not made, the men around the woman will do various stupid things like run into walls, trip, or make strange burbling sounds as they try not to let it be know how they feel. Although the bikini will shrink, it will or will not reveal anything depending upon the wearer’s wishes. Thus, modesty in one might be flagrant display with another. The bikini will fit anyone of any size. The bikini also appears originally as a full body, 1920’s style swimsuit. Additional References: The Teeny-Weeny-Swimsuit for men. Cost: Varies.

Underwear of Virginity
This underwear is very popular among protective fathers. When worn, the underwear cannot be removed without the command word (usually the father’s middle name said backwards). The underwear is normal in respects to touch, but it is impossible to rip or tear. The underwear also magically disposes of body waste before it leaves the body, so there is no mess and absolutely no reason to remove it.

Wand of Love
This wand is very thin, white, and has a lightning star in one point. Anyone struck by the star (‘to hit’ roll required) must save versus spell or fall madly in love with the wand possessor. This love is a double strength charm person (all rules apply), but the effected character will even kill persons to retain his/her loved man/woman in romance.

Wand of Pillows
A normal looking wand which produces pillows. Here is the most fun magic item ever found, a “Wand of Pillows”. Just point and it produces loads of nice fluffy pillows. Great for padding that dungeon room to sleep. Also, on occasion it can pad the bottom of a drop when one loses all of his/her rope. Furthermore, one can use it to defeat opponents through bewilderment, “Vile villain, stand back or surely I shall slay you with my great and powerful wand”, where upon activation of the wand the enemy would fall into uncontrolled laughter etc, etc, etc…

Wand of Vibration
This wand has a small dial at one end. In magical ruins on one end of the dial it reads “Pleasant Tingle” and at the other end of the dial it reads “The Crusher”. The last setting is very dangerous and can cause 1 point of structural damage per round to any materials less than or equal to rock. Also, this setting cause 1d10 points of damage per round to anybody foolish enough to place the wand in a body cavity at such a high setting.