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We have all been hurt. We can all think of that girl that dumped us and broke our heart. It is normal for us to take it all so personally. We only had our own perspective to view things from.

I was once hurt very badly. I had been married for 8 years. My wife and I had two beautiful children. We had built a big home in the suburbs. She was hot and we had sex every night. It was the dream come true. Then she cheated on me and left me and the kids alone and I had to sell the house. My world was shattered. Or at least I thought so at the time.

It took a long time to fully understand what had actually happened. After much research and introspection, I finally realized that the entire problem was that I had chosen wrong. She had low self esteem. Even though she had the perfect life with me, she did not believe that she deserved it, so she sabotaged it. I came to realize that I had married her based solely on her looks. I had not believed in myself enough, way back then, to find the kind of woman that I knew I had to have. So I realized my mistake and I assumed responsibility. And with that, I let go of the past, I kept only the lessons learned, and I set out on a new path for my future.

As men, we are not defined by how we have been hurt; instead, we are defined by how we make the best of ourselves.

Do not define ‘who’ you are by ‘what’ happened. Instead, simply acknowledge the ‘event’ as a lesson learned.

Know that the past is just the past. There is nothing we can do to change the past. The past is what got us to where we are now. All we can do is define our present and future. It is up to us. Acknowledge the past for what it is, and move on. There is no point in laying blame, and it isn’t going to make anything better. We must set a direction for ourselves.