The first is firmness (also referred to as lengthening).

The second is swelling.

The third is hardness.

The fourth is hea.

Your erection is not then just a static appendage, but undergoes a process that reflects your level of arousal. Western physicians have recently confirmed these four stages of erection, although describing them in somewhat more technical terms.

Healing Tao instructor Walter Beckley described the four stages like this: “In the first stage, your penis starts to move and become erect. In the second stage, it’s irm, but not bard – not really hard enough to penetrate (unless you use the Soft Entry technique). In the third stage, it is erect and hard. In the fourth stage, it is stiff and really hot. This last stage is also when your testicles draw into your body. It is much easier to avoid ejaculating when you can remain in the erect and hard third stage. Pulling the sexual energy up helps keep the penis from getting to the final, stiff and hot stage. Relaxing is also essential, as is trying to be aware of when you move into that anxious, explosive fourth stage when ejaculation is imminent.

The prostate, like the G spot for women, is often highly sensitive to sexual stimulation. It has in fact been called “the male G spot.” The authors of The G Spot concluded; “In men there is an orgasm triggered by the penis and one by the prostate.” Men report that prostate orgasms are quite different from penile orgasms, emotionally as well physically. The authors of The G Spot suggest that this is equivalent to the difference women experience between clitoral and vaginal orgasms.

Like a woman’s G spot, the prostate becomes increasingly sensitive to erotic stimulation as the man becomes aroused and approaches orgasm. This is why a prostate checkup at the doctor is quite different from prostate stimulation in bed with your lover. (You and your partner should remember that the body becomes engorged from front to back, so partners should wait until a man is highly aroused before attempting prostate stimulation.)

You can stimulate your prostate externally through your perineum at your Million-Dollar Point (more about this spot later in the chapter) or more directly through your anus. It is not always easy to reach by yourself if you are not very limber. Generally, the best position is lying on your back, either with your knees bent and your feet on the bed, or with your knees against your chest. In this position, you can insert a (well-lubricated) finger, curl it forward, and touch your prostate. You should feel something the size of a walnut an inch or two inside on the anterior (front) wall of your rectum. Gently rub the prostate back and forth. You can also thrust in and out at different speeds, which will also stimulate the highly sensitive nerves around your anus. If your partner is willing, she can do the same, but from a slightly easier angle. (Make sure your or your partner’s nails are short.) If either you or your partner is not interested in venturing inside your anus, you can stimulate the anal sphincter and/or the perineum, which will also stimulate the prostate.

When prostate stimulation brings you to ejaculation, the fluid generally comes flowing out instead of spurting out. Keep in mind that this stimulation is very deep and very intense; as a result, it is even more difficult to control your arousal rate with prostate stimulation than it is with genital stimulation. So go slowly, and try not to push yourself over the edge.

The vas deferens is a firm tube that extends from the testes to the prostate gland (see figure 2). Sperm move through this tube to the upper end, where they mix with secretions from the seminal vesicles and the prostate just before ejaculation. The secretions from the prostate constitute about one-third of your ejaculate and are responsible for its whitish color. The sperm are only a small part of the ejaculate, which is why a man who has had a vasectomy ejaculates about the same amount of fluid as he did before the operation.

Figure 2 – MAN’S SEXUAL ANATOMY

Since many men are concerned with the size of their penis and some are now even having penis-enlargement operations, we should take a moment to discuss the subject. Throughout human history, men have made many attempts to expand their so-called manhood – even the Taoists had their method, which we describe in chapter 8. But the truth is that the size of your erection is much less important than its strength and what you do with it. If you practice Sexual Kung Fu, you will have ample confirmation that your are “man enough” for any woman. If you are still concerned about the size of your penis, take a moment before running out to a plastic surgeon and read the section in chapter 8 called “Please Sir, May I Have Some More: Enlarging Your Penis.”

Every time you ejaculate, your body assumes that it is getting ready to create a new life. According to the Tao, all of the organs and glands in your body give their best energy, what is called orgasmic energy. In many species, once this energy has been given, once the seed has been lost, the body of the animal starts to deteriorate. Salmon, for example, die soon after they spawn. Anyone who has spent time gardening knows that plants die or become dormant once they give their seed. Plants that are kept from going to seed live longer than those that are not. Though, luckily for us, we do not die after ejaculating, Taoists know that we are part of nature and that we must understand nature’s laws.

According to Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (popularly known as the Kinsey Report), an average man ejaculates about five thousand times during his lifetime; some men ejaculate many, many more times. During the course of an average man’s sex life (and this includes time spent locked in the bathroom), a man ejaculates 1 trillion sperm. Assuming that some of this ejaculation happens with a partner, the chances of his passing on his genetic code are pretty good. Most of the time, however, when we make love – not for progeny, but for pleasure – there is no need to spill our seed and deplete our bodies. So, if you make love only when you want to conceive a child, you will not need to practice Sexual Kung Fu. If, however, you want to have a multi-orgasmic and healthy sex life, read on.

Dr. Van Voorhies was studying simple but revealing worms called nematodes. What, you may ask, do worms have to do with your sexuality’. Well, these nematodes are not just your everyday, garden-variety worms. “The genes and biochemical processes nematodes use,” explains Dr. Philip Anderson of the University of Wisconsin, “are the same as those that humans and other mammals use.” In scientific studies, nematodes are frequently used in place of human subjects.

Dr. Van Voorhies tested three kinds of male worms. The first group of worms was allowed to mate at will, which required frequent sperm production. On average, these Don Juan worms lived only 8.1 days. (Nematodes, in general, don’t live very long.) The second group of worms was not allowed to mate at all. These, shall we say, monastic worms lived an average of 11.1 days. But even more startling, the third group, the multi-orgasmic worms that did not constantly have to produce sperm but were allowed to mate at will, lived close to 14 days – over 50 percent longer than the worms that needed to continually produce sperm!

The Times concluded: “The new work suggests that ceaseless sperm production takes its toll on a male, perhaps requiring the use of complex enzymes or biochemical processes that have harmful metabolic byproducts.” The Times goes so far as to suggest that “the difference in life span between men and women just may be linked to sperm production. Women on average live about six years longer than men.” There are other theories to explain the disparity in life expectancy between men and women, including differences in lifestyle and in hormones. Whether or not the production of sperm actually shortens your life, it certainly saps your strength.

Over two thousand years ago – long before experiments on nematodes – the Taoists described the importance of not ejaculating in the Discourse on the Highes Tao Under Heaven: “If a man has intercourse without spilling his seed, his vital essence is strengthened. If he does this twice, his hearing and vision are made clear. If three times, all his physical illness will disappear. The fourth time he will begin to feel inner peace. The fifth time his blood will circulate powerfully. The sixth time his genitals will gain new prowess. By the seventh his thighs and buttocks will become firm. The eighth time his body will radiate good health. The ninth time his life span will be increased.” Ancient texts exaggerate to make their point, and it is unlikely that the above benefits occur in this exact order or at the exact specified time. However, it is clear that Taoists have long known the importance of conserving semen.

The image of the unsatisfied woman whose lover ejaculates, grunts, and collapses on top of her is so common that it has become a cultural joke, but the exhaustion that men feel after ejaculating is as old as the first coital groan. Peng-Tze, a sex adviser to the famed Yellow Emperor, reported almost five thousand years ago: “After ejaculating, a man is tired, his ears buzz, his eyes are heavy, and he longs for sleep. He is thirsty and his limbs feel weak and stiff. In ejaculating he enjoys a brief moment of sensation but then suffers long hours of exhaustion.”

Western folk wisdom agrees with the Taoists regarding the importance of conserving sexual energy. Athletes have long known the weakness and lethargy that follow ejaculation, abstaining from sex the night before the “big game.” Artists have also felt the lingering effects on their work. Jazz musician Miles Davis explained in a Playboy magazine interview:

Davis: You can’t come, then fight or play. You can’t do it. When I get ready to come, I come. But I do not come and play.

Playboy: Explain that in layman’s terms.

Davis: Ask Muhammad Ali. If he comes, he can’t fight two minutes. Shit, he couldn’t even whip me.

Playboy: Would you fight Muhammad Ali under those conditions, to prove your point.

Davis: You’re goddamn right I’d fight him. But he’s got to promise to fuck first. If he ain’t going to fuck, I ain’t going to fight. You give up all your energy when you come. I mean, you give up all of it! So, if you’re going to fuck before a gig, how are you going to give something when it’s time to hit?

Miles wasn’t exactly a romantic, but he didn’t mince words, either. As one of the world’s greatest trumpet players, he knew how ejaculating decreased his stamina and depleted his art. Unfortunately, like most men, he didn’t know that he could have had sex all he wanted, even have orgasmed, before any gig – as long as he didn’t ejaculate. It might have even improved his “hitting.”

Although the effects of ejaculating may be more obvious to professional musicians and prizefighters, all men eventually experience the same depletion from coming – which might more appropriately be called going. According to one multi-orgasmic man, “I really notice it in the morning if I ejaculate. I get up dragging my feet and I am tired by noon. When I have multiple orgasms without ejaculating, I wake up refreshed and I need less sleep.” Another man who was recovering from a chronic illness explained: “My sexual desire has always been strong, so I ejaculated often, once or twice a day. And with every ejaculation my health got worse and worse because I was losing a lot of energy.” Many men, especially young men, may not notice this feeling of depletion at first unless they ejaculate when they are sick or working hard.

In the West, we assume that ejaculation is an inevitable culmination of male arousal and the end of lovemaking. In China, however, doctors long ago saw what the French call le peit mort – “the little death” of ejaculation – as an avoidable betrayal of male pleasure and a dangerous depletion of male vitality.